Behold the greatest creation from the hand of the creator
Surpass Einstein in intellect
Overpower Frankenstein in strength
My physicality and mentality are the gifts of God
Thou suffer through pain
But I was gratified by pang
Highly entreat thou not to challenge my abilities
Thou shall endure eternal-pain for approaching
God was despondent about his ineffectual creatures
Elixir-of-God's discouragement defined my existence
Hence, neither fiend nor beast dared to confront me
red-sea of battlefield glorified my victory
I abhorred the unrighteousness of man
I volunteered to be the prosecutor of God
The ones that are sinister in nature should tremble
Henceforth you will no longer live in tranquility
Beyond six feet in stature
I now dwell among you
Inscribed with the number 0810
I am known as Michael among my peers
Kennings:
Eternal-pain: Death
Red-sea: bloodshed
Elixir-of-god: rescuer
 |
| Time to Face the reality, it is all too late...... |
Great poem, I like how you mentioned about einstein and Frankenstein. it's great that you actually expressed your level of vocabulary in the poem itself haha!! It is also interesting that you placed your ID number in the line... Inscribed with the number 0810.... Even though it came out quite randomly, it came upon a good poem after all.
ReplyDeleteI like how you mentioned God symbolizing and representing the highest authority of all human being. Comparing your self you something like that just makes you literally undefeatable.
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ReplyDeleteYour poem sounds like a priased poem. I like the way you connect God and you. The kennings are really good!!
ReplyDeleteWhy do you put the 0810 in your poem to brag about yourself?
ReplyDeleteAlso I like how you praise yourself about destroying the sinisters bur I am not so sure if God would have such a persecutor.
You are one of those people who did not make their poems with rap lines. Good job by using some big words throughout your poem! I like how you compared yourself to God in lines,"Elixir-of-God's discouragement defined my existence"to show that you are the greatest person of all. Well written!
ReplyDeleteTOAST score (see Mr. Webb's blog): 33/40
ReplyDeleteT: 10/10.
O: 5/5. Beautiful lines, Michael. Your writing has gotten so much stronger since we met in English I. Can hardly recognize it!
A: 10/10.
S: 0/5. Make sure you do something with the formatting next time.
T: 10/10.
"Beyond six feet in stature
ReplyDeleteI now dwell among you"
So angry to see that!! X ))
I want to grow taller than you!